Googled : The benefits of being a mother.

I've been homesick way before I knew I was pregnant and of course when Lily came out, every emotion came flooding in. 

Lily will be 5months tomorrow and she is growing so fast, she now understands when we call, she reacts more to sound and expression...even though it's taxing, she is easy to love.

In no time, Lily will learn how to talk and I would be harder for me to shed tears in front of her like how I'm now...not that I want to show sadness around her, it's just been so terribly hard for me not to and boy will it be hard to explain all my tears when she starts asking questions about it or worst if she tells people about me crying.

When she looks at me, I try to make a big grin even when my eyes are filled with tears...I do feel bad showing her my emo-ness but it's not easy to hide when I'm around her all the time. 

It hasn't been easy controlling my feelings while I feel tired all the time...nonetheless, I hope that the next time I write here, i've overcome these sadness.

Can we go back to 2019?

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