The time is 4:38am, Lily is sound asleep and why am I up?

I've been having interrupted sleep, random dreams and this particular moment feels all too familiar.

It's those kind of mornings I wish i was back in Malaysia, able to anticipating for pasar pagi kuih hunt and of course the madness in having a cup of hot kopi-o in the kopitiam at 6am.

I might be feeling all melancholy because my birthday is around the corner?

I don't know.

I used to look forward to it, calling it the celebratory month but I supposed being away from my core family and friends has left me with less outings, meet ups and cakes when a new season arrives.

For many years now, it has been just another day which makes me a little (in a lack of an accurate word) sad for not being spoiled rotten.

speaking of which, i'm not even sure if i even have a core core back home anymore and that makes me even more..... sigh.

I supposed I've always wished for something extra sparkling for that day but it hasn't but I supposed I'll have to learn how to celebrate me, myself.

It's such a childish behavior and I'm at an "adult age" old enough to know.

...but of course, what I'm really trying to share isn't something this petty... but perhaps I can't because I don't even really know how to start.

All i know is that adulting is mainly about realitie$, bill$ and a whole lot of i$sue.

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